I got a chainsaw in my pocket. I kinda like the sound it makes when it thinks I'm not getting what I want, or should I say, what I deserve. How come all my friends went and got themselves a career. They're pulling down 80,90 K a year, I'm still flippin burgers for 5 bucks and change. It's a conspiracy, there must be some kind of plot, you just play the right game and rise to the top. Well I bet I can play that game better than your average bear. So one morning I woke up and got myself a corporate clown suit and went to apply for a job at a fancy law firm down town. What's that you say? You want a resume? I don't have one! And I forgot my gun but I've got something else that's been dying to see the light of day- I got a chainsaw in my pocket, I got a chainsaw in my pocket, I got a chainsaw in my pocket, and it's starting to make a mess down there.

Well, things was getting just a tiny bit messy down around the law firm, but sometimes I get a little upset, and things just get crazy, KnowhatI'msayin? So I go down to the club to unwind, and it's my lucky day cuz whay do I find?- This babe-a-licious piece of eye-candy sitting at my favorite booth. So I sit down and order another round, and begin to astound her with my charms, when all of a sudden Miss Babe-a-licious claims she's Mrs. Babe-a-licious. And she's got seven kids, and her husband's in the little boys' room downstairs. Yeah, like I didn't notice the ring change fingers as I sauntered over. So I slid in next to her pretty little friend and I said "Hey, I'm available later this weekend" and she fed me this line about having to do her hair that night. Of course Mrs. Babe-a-licious was only too eager to confirm that appointment. I said "I don't mind, I got something that'll take care of your pretty friend's hair just fine".- I got a chainsaw in my pocket, I got a chainsaw in my pocket, I got a chainsaw in my pocket, and it's getting to be a real mess down there.

So I go back home, and I'm feeling pretty slimy, take a couple of showers and turn on the TV. And there's these 2 babes doin their thing for some guy with a guitar. How come all the babes see a guitar and they drop their panties- think I'll buy me one o'them, and then it hits me- California's the place I oughta be. So I loaded up the van and I moved to Beverly. Hills, that is, MTV, chicks for free. So I'm heading down town for the big audition. Got my new haircut and some beer for nutrition. The guy says hurry before I die of old age, so I borrowed a guitar and I writhed on the stage, and he laughed and said "OK now let's see if you can play." Well, thinking back to my first lesson, I said "Guitar's not my forte!" But if you can get these mothers to groove I got something here's guaranteed to make you move. Mmh, Oh look out! Well , I told you to be careful. Duck your head, we're coming to the bridge. Alright, this is my favorite part, right here.